Walton Lea Crematorium
Friday 18/09/15
12.20pm
Funeral Service

Brenda Hewitt

Music: Close To You - Carpenters

It’s normal to approach a funeral service feeling a little overwhelmed, tense or uncomfortable but please be assured that for the time we spend here; this place is about nothing and nobody else but each one of you and your relationship with Bren: To acknowledge the importance she had in your life, to recall the things she did and said that influenced your life, her characteristics and aspects of her personality; all of which have encouraged you to be here.
Such was Bren that she wouldn’t have wanted this occasion to be shrouded with sadness but for thoughts of her and the memories shared to cause smiles not tears. That’s quite a ‘tall order’ considering the lady she was and the impression she made on our lives but through the strength and consideration of each other; we will endeavor to celebrate Bren’s life and make tribute to her.
And this service is only the beginning of our tribute. Our tribute to Bren will continue well beyond the time we spend here. Because every time a memory or a story of Bren is shared, every time we do or say something which has been influenced by the impact she had on our life, every time we talk to her in our hearts and our minds; these will all continue to pay her tribute. They will honour the relationship we still have with her and they will keep that bond priceless and alive forever.

The life of Bren is a story and the most notable aspect of her story, as far as today is concerned, is that somewhere amongst the chapters and pages of her life; each one of us here has a mention. Wherever we are referenced in her life, whatever role we played; we gather in her honour through our duty as her family and friends to provide her with a dignified commemoration of her life and through our words, thoughts, music and gestures; express to her that she was loved, that she is still loved and that she will always be loved.
There are people who couldn’t be with us here today yet they hold us and this moment in their thoughts. Her sister, Eve in America has encountered numerous problems trying to get a flight and is heart-broken. May our thinking of Eve and anyone else we know that couldn’t be here; make them present in a very special way.

Poem
Dear friends, I go, but do not weep, I’ve lived my life, so full, so deep. Throughout my life, I gave my best, I earned my keep, I’ve earned my rest. I never tried to be great or grand, I tried to be a helping hand. If I helped in a team, If I helped on my own, I was more than repaid By good friends I have known. And if I went the extra mile I did it with pleasure, It was all worthwhile. If I brightened your path, Then let it be, A small contribution From my loved ones and me. But mostly I cherished the family I knew, In a bond never-ending, So precious, so true. Now sadly I leave you, and travel alone, Through the mystic veil To the great unknown. With such beautiful memories That forever will be, The way that I hope You’ll remember me.


Eulogy
Bren was born on the 15th April 1945 and was brought up very well by Alice and Fred. She grew up in Warrington and was sister to Dave, Dot, Bet, Freda and Eve.
Growing up in post war society wasn’t easy by any means, times were tough, people had to make do with the little they had but as harsh as those days were; they produced a generation of people with qualities the likes of which we may never see again. Bren had a happy childhood and her sister, Eve was good at making Bren look pretty but if she ever wore too much make-up or the hem of her skirt revealed too much leg; they would hear the wrath of Fred!
After leaving school, Bren spent a few years working for Memory Lane Cakes before working as a payment collector in the Warrington and Burtonwood areas for a company called Kelly’s.

As a young lady, Bren became acquainted with a handsome young Teddy-Boy called Ged. Cupid did what Cupid does best and they fell in love. They enjoyed spending lots of time together but of all the dates they shared; none were as special as a meeting the day before her birthday in 1967 when they became husband and wife. And not only did their marriage make them Mr and Mrs but, as the years that followed proved; they were also the very best of friends and soul-mates. Bren was everything and more that Ged hoped she would be, he always considered himself a lucky man and thought the world of her. Like most married couples, they had their challenging moments but their faithful devotion was nothing short of inspiring to all who knew them.
Their love rewarded them with the gifts of their children; Stephen, Paul, Baz, David and in 1984 their lives were enriched even further through the presence of ‘Clarky-Paul’. Bren had a flexible approach to parenthood and allowed her kids to learn about life at their own pace. She was never pushy but was always there for whenever they needed her. Ged dealt with discipline which meant that with Bren they could get away with murder! As a family they achieved many happy memories; some of which were made when meeting up with other family members such as on Boxing Day and on walking days and their caravan holidays to Rhyl. Clarky-Paul was fortunate to experience holidays abroad to Tenerife where Bren had a better chance to maintain her tan. Around the pool would be seen many men in their trunks and budgie smugglers and then there would be Ged who hated the sun and would always be seen fully clothed!
Bren provided, protected and cared for her boys and together with Ged; encouraged and empowered them to establish the confidence to make their own stories in life.

The arrivals of further family members bestowed on Bren the proud status of grandmother or ‘Nan’ or ‘Nanna’ as she preferred to be called! When Dianne and Paul arrived in their wedding attire they received the famous ‘Bren look’ which never needed any words to interpret but she loved Diane, they got on very well with each other and Diane’s daughter, Chloe also became a significant part of ‘Nanna Bren’s’ life.
Jan was like a best friend to Bren more than a daughter-in-law and together they enjoyed many memorable moments on their holidays and were popular characters in their favourite apartment and with fellow holiday-makers. She loved her status of aunty and was very proud and close to her nieces and nephews.
Bren was a unique woman, she never interfered with people’s business and would only give her opinion on things if she was asked. She was straight talking and although it wasn’t her intention of offending people; she would let them know if they were fat or untidy! She was a kind and caring woman and would do anything for anyone if they needed her help.

Throughout the years, Bren was passionate about bingo and her Wednesday and Saturday sessions at Gala were sacred as I’m sure her niece, Jan and friend, Pat will vouch for. It wasn’t that long ago when a nurse, who had the ‘audacity’ to suggest a medical appointment on a bingo day, challenged Bren as to which was more important; the hospital or bingo: Bingo of course; what a stupid question to ask Bren! Now and again, people were rewarded with a treat from her winnings; she would never reveal how much she would win, she would always say “I got my money back” and were instructed not to tell Ged!
Bren also loved pottering around in the garden which wasn’t just about her knowledge of plants and flowers but could also involve laying down paving stones and making driveways and on one occasion had her demolishing a concrete war shelter in order to make more room! In the last place she lived, she was faced with the idea of a shared garden but after fencing off her own little area, everyone else followed her example and claimed a share of the communal space! She never needed the Yellow Pages and was confident to tackle any DIY task. She had her own set of tools but like us all; sometimes struggled with the complex instructions of flat-pack furniture and if it didn’t go to plan, she would make herself some shelves!

Those who lived with Bren would never go hungry; she was a good cook and faithful to good old English dishes. Sometimes she would get things wrong like the time she used a pressure cooker to make rice-pudding. She hadn’t realised that you’re not meant to put the whole box of rice in and was quite alarmed at the results and after reaching her 12th pint of milk, she gave up on the idea and binned it!
Bren and Ged shared many of their years with Alsatian dogs. They got the run of the house when Bren was out but when she returned, they soon got to know that she was the one who must be obeyed not Ged and it was in Ged’s best interest if they got down off the chair immediately! She loved their Budgies and cockatiels but would go in panic mode at the thought of leaving the cage open.

She would be relaxed watching the TV and knew all the goings-on in the soaps. It was a brave person who phoned her up and interrupted her viewing and she would even shorten the hospital visiting times so as not to disturb her Emmerdale! She loved music and enjoyed a wide variety of sounds such as the Stylistics, Bee Gees, Whitney and Carpenters to name but a few. In recent years she has enjoyed going to live concerts. She was looking forward to this November at the Parr Hall to watch the Stylistics for the third time but what she didn’t know was that Dianne had contacted the group and a band member replied from America saying that they were looking forward to meeting her after the show but sadly it was not meant to be.

She had a go at keeping up with modern technology through her laptop and tablet. No matter how many lessons her family would give her and demonstrate all the wonderful things her computer could do; she preferred only to use them for the games and would be content playing card games and Mahjong Tiles.

Ged’s passing in 2008 had a big impact on Bren but through the love and care of her family and friends, she never had to make the journey of grief alone. She was more concerned about their needs more than her own, she never wanted to cause a fuss or be a burden and would never make it easy for people to know the full measure of how she was truly feeling.
It’s been really difficult for all those who loved and enjoyed knowing Bren to witness the way her ill health took a dramatic decline since her diagnosis. In contrast to the wonderful woman Bren was; it didn’t seem right and it certainly wasn’t fair. The courage and resilience she shown was and will remain an inspiration for us all. We are offered some comfort knowing that Bren is no longer troubled but is at peace, she lived a very fulfilled life, she was aware of how important she was to us and throughout it all; she has been surrounded with love.
And nowhere has love for Bren been expressed more than here in this moment when we gather in her honour and holding in our hearts her life, her journey, her story, together with all our memories: The sharing, the joys, the difficulties, the laughs; we embrace it all, surrender to the moment, love Bren and allow her to go free.
As we listen to our next piece of music; we take a moment to reflect and celebrate our personal memories of Bren and in the silence of our hearts; express to her any words which we were unable to share. As we do this, should anyone wish to place a flower with Bren or maybe a fingerprint so a part of you remains with her or just to have a final brief moment at her side; all gestures of love and farewell, you’re welcome to do so.

Music: You Make Me Feel Brand New – Stylistics

The Lord’s Prayer
Committal
As we prepare ourselves to say farewell to Bren, remember that this is only her body which we are committing here today. Her spirit, her personality will remain forever alive in our hearts and in our minds. To live in the heart of another person is not to die...love lives forever!
Bren; may the light of love shine upon you and on those for whom you care. May you find everlasting peace, rest and freedom from everything that has ever caused you harm or concern.
Accept and approve of our actions today. Recognise the faithful loyalty of your family and your friends who through respect and admiration of you; hold you tenderly and bring peaceful conclusion to your earthly life.
May you know and feel the thoughts of our hearts. May you know the depth of our appreciation of you and may the light of our love shine forever upon your name.
We respect the way you lived your life, we respect your unique personality, your courage and the many good times you shared with your family and friends. In heart-breaking grief but in gratitude for your amazing life and for the privilege and pleasure of sharing it with you; we commit your body with the loving respect and dignity it truly deserves.

Curtain Closes
Hear our farewells Bren and be assured and comforted by the love that embraces and cherishes you in this moment and forever.

Closing Words
The influence of Bren in our lives will continue to accompany us in our own life journeys. Bren will never be just part of the past – each one of us carries forward an important part of her with us into the future.
On behalf of Bren’s family; thank you to each and every one of you for being here: Your presence here has made this service more meaningful and precious. A special thank you to the nurses on wards A1 and A7 at Warrington General for their care and support and anyone else involved in Bren’s care.
Everyone is invited to the Walton Arms, even if it can only be for a short time, where the sharing of further memories will continue to pay tribute to Bren.
Please use the final song to make your personal concluding thoughts and through it find the smile that Bren and indeed Ged would want you to leave this place with.

Music: Three Times A Lady - The Commodores